Shady Baby
by Lady Nightingale
Summary: A young girl living in the Shades of Discworld discovers she has a rather nasty temper, and with Rincewind's help finds out what to do about it.
1. Prologue

**Shady Baby**

Prologue

The Beginning

Summary: A young girl from the Shades of Discworld, the heart of thievery and cruelty in Ankh-Morpork discovers she has some strange things happening when she loses her temper…Rincewind finds her…well, more like she find Rincewind, and finds out about that nasty temper.

Author's Note: I'm a Discworld nut, so watch out, some of this may make no sense. I'm just making this up as I go, ya know. Also, the descriptions here are nothing close to Terry Pratchett's creative level, so be patient.

Disclaimer: We (I) at Nightingale Productions would like to say this: Creative genius is a weird thing, you know? Thank you and enjoy the show.

Sunrises on the Disc are different than anywhere else. Being as the world is mostly flat, the sun creeps up around the Hub, sneaks up on the trees, waits a moment, smiling to itself at its incredible smugness, and pounces on the landscape, oozing like a runny egg. That was the way it did that day, sneaking up on the Disc and waking up its inhabitants.

In Ankh-Morpork, the city wakes up, steps out of their homes and stretches, and then wanders back inside for some breakfast. Shop owners and booth tenders uncover their wagons and open their windows, and the first signs of life step out onto the street, ready for a day on the Disc.

Down the hallways of Unseen University, into the rooms of every young and old wizard living there, they yawn and roll over, warding away the sunlight as it streams through their windows and into their eyes. In one room, the Disc's first female wizard, Eskarina Smith is just waking up, wanting very much not to move but being prodded by Granny Weatherwax, her very inept "nanny," telling her she'll be late for lessons if she doesn't hurry it up.

And just on the outskirts of Ankh-Morpork, there's a small place no human being (or anything else, for that matter) wants to end up. The Shades, small and dirty, Pratchett calls it an " urban canker sore festering with criminal activity," which is basically what I call it. But hey, I'm not Pratchett. 

Down the narrow streets, businessmen and women open up their swindler stores, only to sell stolen items and half-able animals. 

And in a small house near the woods of Ankh-Morpork, the world's next female wizard, although much older than our Eskarina, rolls over in bed and sleeps, dreaming of nothing much. 


	2. The First Sign

Shady Baby ****

Shady Baby

Chapter 1

The First Sign

Summary: We find our heroine (Or maybe anti-heroine), Lucks, trying to fight off Rincewind, who has gotten lost in The Shades and wound up in her father's garden among a faerie ring. 

Author's Note: Still, description's not that cool, but I'm a writer and my creativity is my vice. Okies? Oh, and it's Lu-wocks-zanna, that's how you say it. Ever watch Star Trek, people?

Disclaimer: We at Nightingale Productions would like to say: Creative genius has still got a hold on me…got it? I'm really excited; this is the first time I've done this kind of thing, especially with this old computer I have and everything. If you liked the

Prologue, give me a review. If you didn't…sorry, there's no hope for you. Thank you and enjoy the show.

The rumpled mass of covers were pulled over a head that held loads of long black hair, startling gray eyes, and a mean mouth that would get anyone who tried to mess with it. It belonged to our heroine, Luoxanna Harbinger, or "Lucks," for short. Her father had given her that nickname when she was younger, because everything seemed to go her way, even when it wasn't supposed to. So, she was considered an extremely lucky child. 

Lucks had since grown up into a beautiful fifteen-year-old, able to do pretty much anything she wanted. When you live in the Shades, have a father who's a farmer, a mother who's a fortune teller, and no decent public school to attend, you have to learn other things besides reading, writing, and arithmetic. Not that she didn't learn any of that from her parents, it's just that she was better at things like beating up strangers that wandered into the house, or the back garden, and being able to whip up a potion out of every herb available on the spot if needed. 

Fortunately, for her anyway, she would get a chance to put her skills to use that morning. Unfortunately, though, for our poor, inept stranger who wandered into her father's garden.

"Lucks!" came a voice from the kitchen.

Lucks grumbled and pulled her body out of the small bed, looking out her window. The sun was out, which was unusual for the Shades. Rarely did sun come through the treetops and smog. She glanced down, realized she was naked, sighed, and found her dress in the corner. She pulled it on and found her way to the kitchen where her mother was having entirely too much fun with a kitchen knife and a cucumber. Her father was seated at the table, reading a newspaper (or what was left of one after their dog, affectionately named "Killer" got through with it).

"Morning Lucks" he said, absentmindedly. "Long sleep, I take it?"

"No longer than usual" she said. Her father turned a page with a hole right in the middle and kept reading. Her mother set some food down in front of her and she began to pick at it.

"Did you hear the news, Lucks? They're letting women in Unseen University!" her father laughed. "What a pile of cannon fodder."

"Why is that cannon fodder, daddy?" Lucks asked. "What's wrong with a female wizard?"

"It's against the lore," her father said. Lucks rolled her eyes. 

"That's what they told Eskarina Smith, and she didn't listen" Lucks shot back.

"That's because she saved the life of one of the top young wizards at the University! Gave her a pointed hat and everything. Rubbish."

Anger boiled up inside Lucks, and she turned toward her plate of food. She wasn't hungry, but she ate it anyway.

Suddenly, from over in the corner of the room a whole rack of pots and pans fell over with a clatter and scattered across the floor. Her father jumped and dropped the paper. Killer ran to the window and started to bark.

"What was that?"

"Beats me" Lucks mumbled.


	3. Watch the Hole in the Ground

Shady Baby ****

Shady Baby

Chapter 2

Watch the Hole in the Ground

Summary: Lucks tries to stop thieves from robbing a caravan and they have a little accident with the ground below them, although she knows not why.

Author's Note: Still doing ok. Thanks everyone for your reviews, its great encouragement. Oh, yeah, I don't care what the computer says…this is Chapter 2. Okies?

Disclaimer: We at Nightingale Productions would like to say: HELP! THEY'VE TAKEN ME PRISONER AND ARE MAKING ME THINK CREATIVELY! HELLLLP! Thank you and enjoy the show.

It was later in the day. Lucks' father had sent her into "town," if it may have been called such a thing as a town, to pick up a few things. She took Killer with her, just for company and protection against bandits.

She walked up to a tiny caravan holding iron skillets and kitchen sorts, all rather used and battered. You can't get many new articles of kitchenware in the Shades.

Looking around, she found the kind of skillet her mother wanted and took it down. The clerk was asleep behind a pile of spatulas. 

"Hey" Lucks said. The figure didn't move. 

"I want to buy this…I assume you're in charge," she said warily. 

He didn't move. She was beginning to wonder if he was dead.

Lucks stepped behind the caravan and looked at the boy. He wasn't all that bad looking, considering he didn't even have the God-like facial features. His mouth was open and he was snoring loudly, but to Lucks he still looked all right.

She poked him on the arm. He moved a little. "Ok, so you're not dead, then" she said. "But you're not going to wake up."

Since it was painfully obvious he was enjoying his slumber, she leaned down and said in his ear, "Ok, I'm going to buy this skillet and leave the money in your pocket, just so you know…yeah, I'm going now."

The caravan clerk stirred happily in his sleep and snored louder. Lucks shook her head and walked away.

She picked up everything else her mother had asked her to pick up and headed back towards home. On her way, she passed the caravan with the sleeping clerk, which was now being robbed. Three oversized men were cramming kitchen implements into their pockets and laughing to themselves at their cleverness, getting the clerk while he was asleep…what a classic ploy.

Lucks sighed and headed back over to the caravan, Killer in tow. She cleared her throat, and the three bandits turned around. Killer growled.

"What, then?" one bandit asked.

"I'd just like to know what in the Disc do you think you're doing?" Lucks asked, placing a hand on her hip.

"We're robbing the bloody narcolepsy patient, if it's all right with you, little miss" a thief said, stuffing an eggbeater into his oversized pocket. 

"Actually, I'd really like it if you left him alone" Lucks said. "I don't care if this is the Shades, you don't need to rob the poor blighter." Killer growled again, more menacingly this time.

The thieves laughed at her, and she began to get angry. No one laughed at Luoxanna Harbinger; it was against the lore. At least she thought so.

"Piss of then, girlie, we've got work to do," said a thief who hadn't spoken up yet. 

"No," Lucks said, "I don't think you do."

Killer lunged at the thieves and began to bark loudly, enough to wake the clerk up. "Hey, what in blazes do you think you're doing?" he cried. He was young, Lucks decided, about her age.

"We're robbing your little cloth top shithole here…just stay still," said a thief, trying to kick Killer out of the way. The clerk shrunk back with wide eyes. He looked at Lucks, kind of in shock.

Lucks was now starting to get angrier. The switch in her brain that flipped her from crazy to deranged psycho killer clicked over, and she said, "Why don't you piss off?"

Just as the thieves turned to her to laugh, the ground opened up underneath them and they disappeared, their shouts still echoing after the last hand disappeared in the ground.

Lucks stared in shock. Her anger died down, and she stood fixed to the spot, wondering what had just happened. 

"D…did you dddo that?" the clerk stammered.

"I…I don't know what happened" Lucks said. She looked up at him. Nerves started to get to her as she realized how cute he actually was. He was looking at her quizzically, smiling a little also.

"You shouldn't go to sleep at your post, genius, it's a good way to get robbed" Lucks said. "See you around."

She turned and started to walk away. 

"Hey, wait a second."

She turned back around and faced the boy, who was now peering out from behind his caravan and smiling a little crookedly. "What's your name?" he asked.

Lucks smiled at him. "Mud," she said, "I was supposed to be home ten minutes ago."


	4. Step Away From the Faerie Circle

Shady Baby ****

Shady Baby

Chapter 3

Step Away From the Faerie Circle

Summary: We FINALLY find Rincewind in Lucks' father's garden trying to get out of a faerie circle, which can be dangerous business.

Author's Note: If anyone has anything to tell me in the way of constructive criticism I could use it. Thanks.

Disclaimer: We at Nightingale Productions would like to say: MMMMPH!!! AAARGH, CREATIVITY…HELP MEEEEE!!! Thank you and enjoy the show.

The sun was unusually bright that day. It shone in Lucks' eyes as she walked down the street. Killer was tired, he had walked a lot, and fighting off those bandits didn't help. He was now starting a steady whine from the back of his throat that really got on Lucks' nerves.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she rounded the corner and saw her house, far back in a clump of trees. It was good to see home after the day she had had. 

She opened the door. Killer streaked past her, wanting water and food, and attacked her mother, who was making dinner.

"Your father's gone looking for you," her mother said.

Lucks sighed and scratched Killer behind the ears. "I thought so."

"Where were you that took you so long, then?"

"I had a few things to take care of"

"Besides my skillet, I take it?" Lucks' mother asked.

Lucks went to hold up the skillet, and then realized it was not there. Had she left it when the thieves were trying to rob the caravan? If so, she would have to go back and get it and the Shades was not a nice place at night.

She looked out the window and saw the skillet lying in the yard. Relief swept through her and she got up from her chair, excusing herself from her mother and went out into the yard. She smiled and picked up the skillet, heading back toward the house.

A movement in the corner of her eye caught her attention. It was coming from her father's garden. 

She walked back into the backyard cautiously and headed toward the garden, just in time to see a robed figure with a pointed hat scurry behind a bush.

Lucks' eyebrows narrowed. This was the part of her schooling she loved…combat.

The figure was visibly trying to hide from something, or someone, and was cowering behind a bush. Lucks took a side path and snuck up behind the bush where the robed figure was hiding.

She tapped it on the shoulder and swung the skillet menacingly over her head, just as it turned around. A man's mouth opened wide and a squeak echoed through the woods. He got up, cleared the hedge, and went running through the garden.

"Oh no you don't" Lucks said. She took off after him. "COME BACK HERE, YOU FILTHY BANDIT!" she cried.

The man ran for his life, but Lucks was gaining on him. Just as she was about to bring the skillet down over his head, he stopped and stood straight up, looking around and down cautiously. Then he began to tremble.

Lucks looked down, only to find that the man had stepped in a faerie circle. Her heart began to pound. Faerie circles were dangerous things, because faeries were some of the most evil creatures to ever live on the disc. If that man stayed in the faerie circle he wouldn't be around to get hit with Lucks' skillet, and she couldn't have that.

"Ok, Mr.…um, whatever you are…quickly step away from the faerie circle before they eat you alive."

"Well, you see, it's quite a difficult situation here" the man said. "If I step out of this circle, thing, you'll most definitely kill me with your, um, skillet…"

Lucks raised the skillet again. "No joke" she said.

"…And if I stay in here, I'll most certainly be killed by faeries, so, I'm not quite sure which…"

"Get out of the damned faerie circle before I kill you while you're standing in it!" Lucks cried.

The man sighed and looked down. Tiny faeries were starting to jump at his feet and cling on to his robe. He looked up at the skillet, which he could have sworn was smiling at him, and then back down at the faeries, which were smiling at him. "Oh…Bugger!" he said, before jumping out and landing square on Lucks, knocking her over. 

The man stood up. "Thank you, young lady, for that marvelous save there, I believe I owe you one."

He helped her up. She brushed the dirt off of herself and shook his hand. "Don't mention it," she said.

"Now, if you would help me out, I seem to have taken a wrong turn somewhere in Ankh-Morpork and ended up here, where I really don't want to end up, hehe, so if you would kindly…"

KLONG.

Lucks brought the skillet down over the man's head and he slumped into a pile on the ground. She smiled to herself and picked him up by the feet, dragging him toward her house.


	5. Rincewind's Brilliant Idea (So to speak....

Shady Baby ****

Shady Baby

Chapter 4

Rincewind's Brilliant Idea (So to speak…)

Summary: Rincewind wakes up and discovers that our Lucks is…you'll find out.

Author's note: I am so completely bored out of my head right now, so if this chapter completely and utterly SUCKS, you know why. Still, I think that with the mood I'm in I think I can come up with some great cynicism.

Disclaimer: We at Nightingale Productions would like to say: I own Lucks. She is mine. I can do whatever I please with my own character and creative genius, which currently has me tied to a post in a dark cold room so I can't use my common sense. 

Rincewind rolled over and gave a loud moan that they could have heard in the dining hall at Unseen University. His head felt like he had just dove from the top of Cori Celesti and hadn't stopped until he reached the bottom of the Ankh. "Filthy, nasty, rotten bug…"

"Oh, so you're alive, eh?" said a voice. "I thought I'd killed you."

"You're welcome to, if it would make this headache go away" Rincewind groaned, and tried to sit up. He found it made him dizzy, so he lay back down. 

"Careful" said the voice again, "You sit up now and your brain will leak out of your ears."

Rincewind opened his eyes for the first time and found himself looking at someone he would never have expected to try and murder him.

Lucks smiled at him, rather reluctantly. "Feeling better?"

"Not exactly" he said, trying to touch the wound. He had about a dozen goose eggs on the back of his head, and it looked like another dozen were about to hatch. "Bugger," he said again.

"Be careful, if my mom hears you say that you'll get another blow on the head."

Rincewind looked over at the girl who had nearly killed him. Her hair was unusually long, and very dark. Kind of alluring, in a way. Her eyes were full of many things, besides a rage to try and bludgeon strangers to death.

"Well, then, who are you?" Rincewind asked. 

"I'm pissed off, that's what."  
"Really."

"If it wasn't for mother in there, you'd be lying out there on the sidewalk getting ready to be dog food."

"Your mother?"

"She's not the type to live in the Shades, she's too bloody compassionate…she told me to carry you in here or she'd bludgeon me to death."

"This family's awfully keen on bludgeoning" Rincewind said. "Tell your mother thank you."

Lucks mumbled something that Rincewind figured he didn't want to hear.

"So, who are you really, besides pissed off?" he asked cautiously.

"My name's Luoxanna, but everyone calls me Lucks. I prefer that, actually, so unless you're looking for trouble you can call me that."

"I say, do you go around insulting and hurting people everywhere you go?"

"Only on days that end in y."

"I see."

"So, what were you doing in my father's garden, anyway?" Lucks asked; she figured she might as well get somewhere, even if she didn't want him around.

"I got lost…on my way back from the market with some bananas for the librarian, you know, at the University, and I got bloody lost. Your garden looked safe enough, no one wants to be alone in the Shades, at any time of day."

"You must be awfully faithful if you just went to get bananas for some kooky librarian…is it a wizard thing or something, the banana fetish?" Lucks asked.

"Hmm? Oh, yes, um, well, I suppose so, it's more like a way of living for him…um, anyway, then I met up with your lovely skillet, and now I'm here, hoping I'll be able to walk later on to get home. Got all that?"

Lucks nodded. "Ok, Mr., umm…"

"Rincewind" he said. "Assistant Librarian at Unseen University."

"We've established that already, I believe" Lucks said.

Rincewind rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, I suppose. Now, when will I be able to walk, do you think?"

"Not sure" Lucks said, "Give you another day maybe, and then the swelling will have gone down. I'd personally like to let you go now and let the bandits get you, but that's just me, and I don't seem to count for much in this house."

"I say, where do you get this nasty temper?" Rincewind asked.

"Comes natural, along with everything else."

"Aye then."

"I suppose you'll be wanting supper, then?" Lucks asked.

"Wouldn't mind it," said Rincewind. "Have any molluscs?"

"Probably in the garden," Lucks said. "Hold on a minute, will you?"

Lucks got up and headed out of the bedroom door. Her mother was in the kitchen, carving onions.

"He awake then, is he?" she asked.

"Yes, and craving molluscs" she responded.

"We don't have any, give him some stew when I'm done with it" she said absentmindedly.

At that moment, Lucks' father came storming in, an angry look on his face. "Where…what…who…" he stammered.

Lucks rolled her eyes and headed back into the room where Rincewind was. "It's ok daddy, I got him before he hurt the vegetables."

"What do you mean, young lady?" he asked. "I've been looking for you forever, Lucks, FOREVER. I left when you were supposed to be back, and I couldn't find you! What is the meaning of this?"

"Dad I got hung up…there were some guys trying to rob a caravan and I had to do something about it" Lucks said. "Don't worry."

The steam coming out of her father's ears settled from a heavy billow to a light puff. "All right, I just got worried, that's all. You know how it is here."

Lucks smiled.

"Dear, there's a strange man in our back bedroom that Lucks caught out in our garden. He's awake now, I think you should see him" her mother said. 

"Awake?" he asked.

Lucks smiled. "Right this way daddy."

Lucks led him to the back room, where Rincewind was sitting up and massaging his head. He turned around and let out sort of a squeak when he saw her father.

"Ah, greetings good sir, my name is Rincewind, Assistant Librarian at Unseen Univ…"

"All right, all right, what were you doing in my garden?" her father growled.

Rincewind told her father the story, in between many grunts and nods. When he got to the part about the skillet, he smiled at his daughter. "Nice job" he said. Lucks smiled to herself.

"So anyway, I'm just lost, and I'd like to be getting home soon, you know, the librarian gets awfully upset when he's hungry and I'd rather not experience his wrath if you know what I mean…"

"All right, all right, Mr. Mince Pie, we'll get you home"

"Rincewind, sir."

"Rincewind yourself, Mincemeat. I'll have Lucks take you back home."

"ME?" Lucks cried. "Why me?" 

"Well obviously you can defend yourself better than Rincething here…and you know your way around Ankh-Morpork better than me. Go on, send Killer with you also."

Lucks sighed. "Fine, when do I have to leave?"

"Tomorrow morning you can set off, I'll wake you when it's time. Goodnight Lucks, and you too Rincerind."

Rincewind didn't even bother to correct him. ""Night, my good man."

Lucks sighed as her father left the room. "Thanks a lot," she said to Rincewind with a scowl, and headed out behind her father.

Rincewind sighed and lay back down, trying to sleep. He couldn't concentrate, for the fragments of conversation he heard coming from the kitchen. Lucks' parents were having a discussion about something strange, he gathered.

He got up to listen at the door.

"Mumble mumble to me there was an accident at the marketplace earlier mumbleday," said her father.

"Really? What mumble of accident?"

"Seems that a few burglars mumble disappeared under the earth when trying to steal a few mumbles."

"Really? What caused mumble?"

"Not sure, but that sounds something like one of those magic mumbles. Weird, we don't have any of those around mumble."

"True."

Rincewind took in a breath. Where had Lucks gotten that skillet? He wondered. She was at the market, and he had heard her say something about a caravan and some robbers…

He put it out of his mind, but it seemed to come right back to him. It was strange, and she did have a lot of rage. 

Sleep came then, and he didn't really have a choice in the matter.


	6. Lunch Break, Lunch Break!

Shady Baby ****

Shady Baby

Chapter 5

Lunch Break, Lunch Break!

Summary: Lucks sets out to take Rincewind back to the University and he tells her that she is a wizard and the best place for her is at the University.

Author's Note: I've just taken a major break from writing this story because I had to see my boyfriend off on vacation…I was numb for a couple days, but I'm better now, he'll be home soon. Oh yeah, the caravan boy makes a return cameo here, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Disclaimer: We at Nightingale Productions would like to say: "HELLLLLP ME…" Thank you and enjoy the show.

Morning came sooner than Lucks wanted it to. She was awakened by the fast moving sunlight coming through her window and into her eyes. "Bugger that wizard" she said. She got up and found some pants and a tunic and slipped into them. She pulled her knee high boots on as she was walking out of her room, tripping over Killer as she went. He looked up lazily at her and stuck out his long tongue.

She found her parents and the wizard, that Rincewind guy sitting at the table. He was devouring some of his long coveted molluscs. He looked up when she came in. "Ah, good morning, miss, um…"

"Lucks" she said. 

"Here, honey, have some breakfast, it's a long journey to the University" her mother said. "Of course I wouldn't know, I've never been there…" Her mother shot an angry look at Lucks' father. He never took her anywhere outside the Shades.

Lucks ate her breakfast in silence. She was not looking forward to this journey. She herself was rarely outside her home, and she didn't want to travel alone through the most dangerous part of the disc with this very inept man who called himself a wizard…he didn't look too confident. Or full of magic for that matter.

"Now Lucks" her father said, "I'd like you to be very careful, and once you've dropped off Mr. Rincefish you come straight home…I don't want you gone longer than a week."

"Yeah, ok dad" she said. "I know my way around. Besides, I've got Killer with me, we're not getting hurt." She affectionately scratched Killer on the ear and fed him some bacon.

"I don't know my way around" Lucks' mother said. She scowled at her husband again, but he paid no attention.

Lucks finished quickly. "I'm ready," she said. "Let's go, Rincething."

"Madam," he said, "My name is Rincewind, if you please" he said.

Lucks shot him an evil glare, and he shrank back in his seat. Killer put his head on Rincewind's knee.

"What are you buttering up to him for, boy?" Lucks asked. "He's the enemy!"  
Rincewind looked rather relieved. "Seems to have taken a liking to me."

"My own dog, I can't believe it" Lucks sighed. Killer ran over to her and whined a bit. 

"Oh no you don't…traitor." Killer went back to Rincewind.

"C'mon, then, _Rincewind_…let's go" Lucks growled.

They headed off through the yard and down the road. Rincewind struggled to keep up with Lucks, who was moving at a fast gait.

"So, besides getting bananas for your precious librarian, how did you end up in the Shades?" Lucks asked.

"I thought we went through this already?" Rincewind asked. 

"We did, but I'm asking you again," Lucks said. 

Rincewind sighed. "I just got lost."

Lucks nodded. "And the fact that the Shades is very far from Unseen University means nothing to you, or are you just that disoriented?"

He sighed. "Ihaveagamblingproblem" he mumbled.

"Huh?" Lucks asked. "I don't speak mumble."

"I have a _gambling problem_," said Rincewind, "I'm a compulsive gambler, I spend my money and get nothing back and get chased into the woods by huge men in their underwear demanding that I come back and give them what is rightfully theirs, thank you!"

"And what would that be?" Lucks asked.

"My clothes" he mumbled. 

Lucks stifled a giggle. "I'm glad you didn't give them your clothes, we don't take kindly to insults here."

"Ha, hahaha, that's just _so funny _madam, I can hardly contain myself."

Lucks smiled. "At least you can take a joke."

Rincewind guffawed. "Madam, I am a joke."

Before they left the Shades, Rincewind got hungry again and wanted something to hold him over. Lucks agreed to take him to the marketplace and get him a little something.

While they were looking around, Lucks spotted the boy that ran the caravan she had seen the other day. He was awake now, and making lunch for some people on the skillets he was supposed to be selling. Lucks didn't exactly want to go over there and see him again, especially after the way they had parted yesterday. It was rather embarrassing for her, having never been confronted by a boy before. She tried to keep from making eye contact with him.

"Ah, look, he's grilling something, then! I could use a good bit of a sandwich, then, couldn't you?" Rincewind said, completely foiling her plan.

Lucks sighed. "All right, then."

They headed over to the caravan, Rincewind practically running because he was so hungry, and Lucks just kind of trotting. She didn't exactly want to end up where she was going.

"Add another one on there, if you please sir" Rincewind said to the boy. He turned around. "Right" he said. Lucks felt relieved when he didn't notice her. 

"So, how come you're only an assistant librarian, not _the _librarian?" Lucks asked.

"That position is currently filled."

"By who?"

"A 300 pound orangutan, thank you."

Lucks thought a minute. "How's that possible, then?"

"He used to be human, and then there was a tragic accident that happened in the Library, and he was turned into an orangutan. Funny thing is though, he didn't really want to be turned back, because he said that it was convenient, and he didn't have to talk as much" Rincewind said.

Lucks nodded. "Right." She was beginning to get a bit tired. "Are you a wizard?"

"Yes, I suppose. Kind of. Yes, maybe" Rincewind said.

"Which one of those am I supposed to believe?"

Rincewind didn't respond. 

"Oh, I get it, you're one of those wizards who is only used on special occasions, then?"

"I guess you could say it like that."

"What spells can you do?"

"None that can shut you up, I see."

"What spells can you do?"

"I…oh, bugger. I was kicked out of the University because I opened the Octavo. You know, the book containing the eight great spells?"

"Ok…"

"One of them conveniently lodged itself in my head and threatened to come out and destroy the world every time I opened my mouth. Luckily, I got to use it, so we are safe now."

"No way, no freaking way!"

Lucks and Rincewind turned around. The boy was standing there holding Rincewind's food and looking at him like he was famous. "You…you didn't stop the star, did you?"

"Yes, I did, as a matter of fact" Rincewind said, and blushed.

"Wow! I remember hearing about you, how the spell just came right out and all, wow! Rincewind the wizard at my caravan! Here, the food's free!" he said, handing it over. He looked at Lucks as he gave it to him and smiled, starting to say something. Lucks took the opportunity. 

"You stopped the disc from being destroyed? The big red star? You stopped it?" she asked. 

"It appears to be that way," Rincewind said, cramming his mouth full.

"Hey, would you like a sandwich too? I should have offered you one the other day when you stopped those thieves, but you left before I had the chance…you want?" he asked Lucks.

She blushed despite herself and nodded. "Sure" she mumbled. He smiled and turned to fix her a sandwich, looking back at her once before he started to grill.

"What's your name, then?" the boy asked.

"Lucks" she said. "And yours?"

"Haun" he said. 

"Does that stand for something?" Lucks asked as Rincewind hungrily tore through his sandwich. He burped. "That's disgusting," Lucks said.

"Yes, actually. My whole name."

"Your entire name, then? What is it, for the god's sake?"

"Harry Anderson Underhill Nesbitt. My parents really don't like the name Harry so they just use me as an acronym" Haun said.

"Hmm" Lucks said. He handed her the sandwich and she dug in. After a while she burped herself. 

"Disgusting, madam?" Rincewind asked. 

"Yes" Lucks said. Haun smiled.

"So, where are you all headed?" he asked.

"This git's gotten himself lost and is trying to get back to Unseen University where he belongs…the librarian's assistant" Lucks said.

"It's a noble position, I'll have you know. Not everyone gets to serve a 300 pound gorilla these days" Rincewind said, finishing up his sandwich. "We should be heading along, you know, madam."

"I know. I'm eating as fast as I can" Lucks said.

Haun looked up. "What are you gonna do when you get there, then?"

"Explain to the Librarian why I'm 3 days late in getting his bananas, beg for my job back, and get Lucks some transportation home, I suppose" Rincewind said.

All of a sudden, Haun's head shot up. "You need transportation?"

"Wouldn't mind it," said Lucks. 

"Let me come with you! Please, there's no future here for me, if I got to Ankh-Morpork I could actually make something of my life! Plus, I've got this caravan I can drive you home with! Please, please let me come, I'm good company too…"

"…And a good cook" said Rincewind.

"Precisely!" Haun finished.

Lucks thought a minute. It was against her better judgement, but what the heck.

"All right, then" she said. "Get packed."


	7. Where Were We Supposed to Turn?

Shady Baby ****

Shady Baby

Chapter 6

Where Were We Supposed to Turn?

Summary: Rincewind, Lucks, and Haun are now on their way to the University. Rincewind is contemplating Lucks' wizardry…until a surprise visitor happens along.

Author's Note: Everything is going ok so far. I know the computer will say this is Chapter 7, but IT'S NOT!!! It's Chapter 6!!! Thank you.

Disclaimer: We at Nightingale Productions would like to say: "Gurgle. Need…water…help." Thank you and enjoy the show.

The caravan bounced along the road, pulled by a very willing Donkey, affectionately named Bullhorn. Rincewind was in the back, hunched between a pile of clothes and some skillets, enjoying another sandwich. Lucks sat behind Haun, who was driving, on a pile of straw. Lucks filed her nails, while Killer took a nap in the sun. Infact, if you listened close enough, you could tell he was snoring.

Haun was trying to make conversation with Lucks, but she didn't seem to be too interested in talking. Lucks was trying to think of something to say to Haun, but couldn't. She had never had much contact with boys, but she acted just like one. The girls around her never really wanted to make friends, considering Lucks always wanted to play war or cops and robbers. Unlike the other girls, she wasn't worried about getting her dress dirty, or smudging her nail polish. 

Killer slept. Rincewind had his mouth full.

"So," said Haun, "How long have you lived in The Shades?"

"All my life. My father is a farmer, and he preferred the land here than in Ankh-Morpork" Lucks responded, accidentally breaking her nail off because she filed so hard.

Haun frowned. "He did?"

"Yeah. That was kind of my reaction when I asked him."

"Have you ever wanted to move?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"When I saw a mother being robbed of some food and money in her kitchen."

"When did you see that?"

"I was six."

"Tough."

"What about you? When did you get here?"

"I just kind of travel. I made a home for myself in Ankh-Morpork a while ago, but the robbery was pretty bad there too."

"You can't get away from it on the Disc."

Haun thought for a minute. "I wonder what happened to those guys that were trying to rob me yesterday?"

Lucks stiffened. That event made her uncomfortable, even though she was sure she hadn't had a thing to do with it.

Inside the caravan, Rincewind's ears perked up. 

"I'm not so sure I want to know" Lucks said.

"Well it had to be magic! How did it happen, do you think? Did Rincewind shrink himself and hide in your pocket?" Haun asked.

Lucks forced a laugh. "I didn't find him until after I got home."

"Find him?" Haun wrinkled his brow in confusion.

"He got lost in our garden, however one does that, I'm not too sure. I caught him over the head with that skillet and made him explain himself" Lucks said a little too proudly. 

Haun laughed. Rincewind, however, listened even closer. He had heard Lucks' parents talking about some thieves disappearing into the ground at the market earlier, but he didn't hear them mention their daughter. Maybe they didn't know.

"Strange stuff just seems to follow me around" Lucks said on her own accord. "When I get angry, especially. I don't have time to scream before something breaks or flies in front of the person I'm mad at." 

Rincewind almost choked on his last bite of fried mollusk. Of course, you fool! He slapped himself on the head, a little too hard causing him to tumble backwards into a bale of hay, which knocked over a whole rack full of berry flavored hair tonic. 

He added together the information in his mind. This girl experienced most unnatural occurrences when she was angry, usually described as encounters with the other side at the University. Rincewind thought and thought, and finally it came to him.

This girl had wizarding powers. And if she didn't harness them…

Rincewind cleared his throat. "Excuse me, erm…"

"Haun" he said, a touch of annoyance in his voice.

"Haun…are you quite sure you know where to go?" said Rincewind, "Time is a rather important factor here."

"Since when do we have a deadline?" Haun asked. Lucks scoffed. "Don't mind him, he blurts out random things all the time. You'll get used to it."

She turned around to face the misfit wizard. "Shut up," she growled through clenched teeth. 

They stopped a few hours later to make camp for the night. Haun had started to fall asleep at the reins, and Lucks couldn't hold out much longer either. Killer was falling asleep every five seconds, although he was supposed to be on guard dog duty. The only person awake was Rincewind. He was still thinking about the possibility of Lucks being the world's next female wizard and trying to think of some way it couldn't be true. He hadn't.

Suddenly, as he was lying down on a bed of pine needles, he remembered. A staff! Every wizard must have a staff, and Rincewind had seen no sign of a staff lying around Lucks' house. Smiling with satisfaction, he lay down and tried to sleep.

He awoke shortly after to the sounds of Killer whining and growling, like something was trying to hurt someone. He jumped up and whammed his head on a tree branch, recovered himself, and went to see to the others.

He found Lucks staring at the ground, Haun next to her, his face a mask of puzzlement. Whatever it was was obviously not trying to hurt them but it had an effect of dumbfounding people.

Rincewind joined the stricken teenagers. "What's going on, then?" he asked sleepily. 

"We thought you might be able to tell us, Mr. Wizard man," Lucks said. 

Rincewind stepped in front of Lucks and almost had a heart attack at the sight at his feet. It was a staff, and not his either. He didn't know where it had come from, but it was the most beautiful one he had ever seen, and there was no doubt it was a wizard's staff. It was long, made of some kind of wood he had never seen, but looked oddly familiar. It seemed to have a low, octarine glow radiating from it, and twisting shapes were winding their way along its body. 

Suddenly, the revelation came to Rincewind. It came so quickly that it knocked him off his feet.

He lay there on the ground, still gaping at the staff, and realized that all his ideas were reality. This girl was a wizard. And her staff had come to find her.

"Ok, I'd like a little explanation here please, Rince. Why are you writing on the forest floor, it's just a piece of wood…" Lucks started.

"No, no it is not just a piece of wood, this…this is a major event!" Rincewind stuttered. He stood up and looked Lucks directly in the eye. "Lucks, listen to me. Is your father a wizard?"

"No, he's a farmer."

"Does he know anyone who's a wizard?"

"I think one of my great uncles was, or something…his name was Mambrow, I think, why?"

"Did he have any children?" Rincewind was speaking with fury now.

"Yeah, he had like, seven sons, they're all grown up now. His wife was pregnant with an eighth son, but he died in her womb. Really tragic, the family still talks about it."

Rincewind's jaw tightened. "Do you remember your Uncle Mambrow visiting you ever?"

"The last time I saw him was after his son died. He gave me something, although I don't remember what it was. All I know is that my dad wrapped it up in a blanket and stuffed it in the back closet. I never saw it again."

Rincewind buried his face in his hands. "I knew it!" he said, quite muffled. "I knew it!" 

Haun turned to Lucks. "Is he…ok?"

"I'm not quite sure, but I wanna find out."


End file.
